I met this guy on Tinder. I was at an overnight camp but I thought he was cute, so I swiped right and we had sex. After the camp ended, we kept in touch hoping to meet up sometime in the future. It was a year later when he texted me saying he was going to a friend’s beach house with a couple of people and he wanted me to join them for the weekend. So I did.
I got there and we immediately started drinking. It was me, the guy from tinder, and four of his friends: one girl and three guys. We drank, smoked, and ordered pizza but soon the one girl decided she was tired and went to bed.
That’s when the guy from Tinder and I made the escape to our bedroom. “Can my friends join?” he asked as soon as we started kissing.
“No…” “Please…” “No.”
He went out and said something to his friends down the hall, then came back in, dropped his pants, and stood in front of me. So I got down on my knees and started giving him a blow job.
I soon heard one of his friends walk in, drop his pants, and stand next to us. I tried to ignore him, but the guy from Tinder grabbed my head and shoved it on the friend’s dick that was hanging in front of my face.
I froze.
Why didn’t I just stop? Why didn’t I say “No.”? It could have been that simple, right? Maybe I didn’t make it clear enough? Did they think this is what I wanted? I should have stood up to those two, over six foot tall guys.
But I didn’t.
Instead of the fight or flight response, my body chose freeze. So I gave the friend a blow job as the guy from Tinder grabbed me by the waist, tore my clothes off, and stuck his dick inside of me.
“She gonna learn” His friend said as the guy from Tinder laughed.
I guess it was an inside joke of theirs.
His friend started fucking me harder and I started crying out in pain. I tried to lean forward but he grabbed my hips and pulled me back while the guy from Tinder grabbed my head and shoved his dick to the back of my throat.
“Shut up and take this dick.”
That’s when the second friend walked in and, tears streaming down my cheeks, I sucked his dick too. They all laughed:
“And to think we get this all weekend….for breakfast, as a snack, after dinner.”
Soon the guy from Tinder came on my ass, then the first friend, then the second one, and finally it was over. They all left and I cowered on the bed trying to gather up all of my clothes. I managed to grab my bra before the fourth, and final, friend walked in. I looked up at him, still crying, as he grabbed me by the waist, flipped me over, and fucked me from behind until he too came on my ass and left.
The next morning I snuck out before anyone woke up.
I am now diagnosed with PTSD. Symptoms include: depression, anxiety, trouble sleeping, feelings of hopelessness, jumping at sudden noises, crying over little things, a lack of motivation, getting frustrated easily, having panic attacks, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, thoughts of suicide, nightmares, bed wetting, flashbacks, a constant physical pain in my chest, my friends and family walking on egg shells around me, feeling isolated, and the worst: being brought back to that night any time 'The Hills' by The Weeknd comes on.
But you know what? I’m finally feeling better. I go to counseling once a week, I’ve reported the guys to the police and there is currently an ongoing case. My advice for survivors: tell someone and get help. The love and support I have received from all of my friends and family is honestly what has made all the difference.