I remember that night. I was really drunk and I wanted to see this guy who I’d hooked up with a couple of times. He was kind of an asshole, and I knew that, but he was a good hook up and I liked him in a weird way, so I wanted to hook up with him again. I called him and asked him where he was, he told me he was at his fraternity and that I should come.
Even though I was having fun at the party that I was at, I begged my friends to come with me to his fraternity. It was blizzarding outside, and I made my friends walk all the way from an uphill off-campus party to a downhill fraternity. When we got there, I walked down into the basement and started dancing with my friends. I saw that he was there, but I wanted to play hard to get so I pretended I didn’t notice him.
After a few minutes, he walked over and started dancing with me. The next thing I knew we were hooking up against the wall of the basement, and I looked up and saw that we were now the only people down here. My friends had left, and so had apparently everyone else at the party.
The alcohol I had drank earlier had slowly begin to hit me and I was feeling even more out of it than before. “Let’s go to your room” I said, “I don’t want to be in the basement anymore.” He insisted that we should go into this side room in the basement instead. When I walked in, it looked like a dingy closet to me and I felt extremely uncomfortable. I begged to go to his room instead, or my room even, I just didn’t want to be in this dingy basement closet, but he kept declining until I finally stopped resisting.
“Do you want to give me a blow job?” he said, I’d never gone further than second base with anyone, but I liked him and was pretty drunk so I nodded my head, okay. I remember him grabbing my hair and pushing it down on his cock, and I felt myself gagging, but I kept telling myself this was what I wanted.
“Do you want to have sex?” he asked, and I said no because I was still a virgin and even though I was in a drunken state, I knew I didn’t want to lose my virginity in a dingy fraternity basement closet. He said okay, and we continued hooking up for five more minutes before he abruptly stopped.
“It’s late, you should leave,” he said. I was confused, flustered and drunk, I asked him whether we could go to his room and sleep.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he said. “You’re tempting me and I like someone else, you need to stop tempting me.” I was still really confused, but at the moment it made sense that he wanted to stop hooking up with me because he liked someone else. I felt like that was a valid excuse at the time.
“Can you at least walk me back to my dorm?” I said. It was three in the morning and snowing outside and I didn’t want to have to walk back myself.
“Why?” he responded. “You know where your dorm is, walk back by yourself”
I felt tears rushing to my eyes and walked back up the stairs, I called my best friend almost in tears and asked her to come get me. I couldn’t find my jacket, my head was all confused and my eyes were blurry, there were a few random fraternity brothers sitting on the upstairs couch and none of them did anything to help me look for my jacket. The guy I was just with came up the stairs, looked at me searching for my jacket and said “Why are you still here?”, and at this point my confusion turned into anger and I spat “I’m looking for my jacket” back at him. My friend came within five minutes, helped me find my jacket and walked me back to my dorm as I started sobbing.
What he did to me was awful, and he didn’t even know that. He continued to speak to me like we were friends, but I made it pretty clear that I didn’t want anything to do with him. I never had the guts to say anything to him about what he did was wrong, and I feel so bad about that. He took advantage of me when I was drunk, used me for a sexual favour and then kicked me out into a blizzard in a confused and drunken state. I still worry that if I was a little bit drunk or a little bit more willing, I would have had sex with this guy and he would have done exactly the same thing, but I would have been in a dangerously different emotional state. You never expect things like this to happen at prestigious schools, but they do, it happened to me here.