I'm drunk. I'm writing this while drunk, because I'm too afraid to write about this sober. This is my story. This is something that nobody knows. I am a man. I am gay. I was raped by a "straight" man. I was at a party at a fraternity You know how before freshman year, people Facebook friend you before the year starts? A boy friended me and chatted. He was straight and so was I at the time. We talked a fair amount, but when we actually arrived at Tufts, we never actually met each other. I spent most of freshman year figuring out my sexuality, and I met a boy that I thought loved me. Turns out, it was pretty much the opposite (cheater) so that was fun. So i'm at this party at a fraternity the random guy from the summer before college via Facebook, sees me and says "we haven't actually gotten to know each other let's go upstairs and talk". I was naive and thought that talk meant talk. He pushes me into a random dark bedroom. Someone asleep told us to leave. So we left. I told him I had to go to the bathroom, so we walked to the bathroom. He comes into the stall with me and pushes me down and puts his penis in my mouth. Honestly, I thought it was really sketchy and uncomfortable, but I was okay with it. Eventually, I realized we were in a frat bathroom and made it stop. I told him I was going to go home, and he asked me if he could come with. I told him my roommate was home so he couldnt. As we walked past the Fletcher school dorms, he saw the bushes (which are since, conveniently gone), and he threw me into the bush. He laid me down on his back and told me that I had to fuck him. I said no. He pulled out my penis and started to blow me on the ground, outside, behind the bushes. As it was happening, I couldn't speak. I heard voices and realized some of my best friends were walking by and could potentially see. I wasn't going to let that happen so i tried to roll over and realized I couldn't move. He stood up and started to push his penis into my mouth. On the ground. Outside behind bushes. I didn't know what to do anymore, so I pushed him off and ran. I was cheated on and then raped. I'm really good at stable, committed relationships. I've never told anybody this. Because he's "straight" and I don't want to out him. I haven't told anybody, to protect him. I don't know why I feel the need to do that.